In so many ways, Florida is wonderfully weird.
We dress up as pirates, put mermaids in our state parks and pretend that pleated shorts are formal attire.
But when it comes to politics, we go way beyond weird — into just plain nuts.
As Exhibit A, I give you a story from earlier this week where Gov. Ron DeSantis’ appointees to the new Disney World takeover board announced they were suing the theme park empire.
That’s not the weird part. At least not by Florida’s basic bonkers bar. No, the weird part was near the end of Sentinel reporter Skyler Swisher’s story where he casually mentioned that one of the governor’s appointees spent some of Monday’s meeting stressing that he doesn’t really believe tap water turns you gay.
I’m sorry … what?
A moment ago, we were talking about the normal Florida craziness — you know, where the governor of America’s third-largest state creates a new political board to hamstring a private company’s business plans as punishment for saying something he didn’t like. That kinda thing is our baseline.
So how did we get to gay tap water?
Well, after DeSantis hand-selected five people to muck around with Disney’s roads and permitting processes, media groups naturally started doing research to find out what kind of experience these five people had in government operations.
That’s when they learned that one of the appointees, for instance, was Bridget Ziegler, a founder of the book-banning Moms for Liberty activists. Zeigler’s claims to fame included railing against transgender athletes and generally owning the libs on social media. That makes sense. Because when you’re looking for someone to be in charge of building permits and public utilities, what you really need is someone well-versed in taking on face masks and Black Lives Matter.
Anyway, as national media was doing some basic background checks on the new members of the creatively named “Central Florida Tourism Oversight District,” they also found Orlando minister Ron Peri. That’s when CNN learned Peri had a history of making unusual comments about homosexuality.
According to a recorded Zoom session that CNN viewed and transcribed, Peri described homosexuality last year as “shameful,” linked it to disease and described it as part of society’s general drift toward “evil.”
But it was Peri’s comments about drinking water that raised the most brows. CNN said Peri advanced a “baseless conspiracy theory that tap water could be making more people gay.”
In the audio CNN shared, Peri said: “There are any number of reasons, you know, that are given. Some would say the increase in estrogen in our societies. You know, there’s estrogen in the water from birth control pills. They can’t get it out. The level of testosterone in men broadly in America has declined by 50 points in the past 10 years. You know, and so, maybe that’s a part of it.”
CNN stressed that estrogen-laced water was, in fact, not part of it, according to researchers, noting that the gay-water theory had been previously floated by noted conspiracist Alex Jones, who argued that chemicals in the water were “turning the friggin’ frogs gay.”
Yes, there’s a gay-frog angle.
CNN directed viewers who wanted to hear Peri’s comments for themselves to a YouTube link that now says: “This video isn’t available anymore.” But CNN recorded the audio, which is still on the network’s site.
The CNN report led to mocking from the likes of Stephen Colbert, whose late-night show used Peri’s comments to produce a satirical commercial for a product called “Man Water” — for those worried that regular water might turn them gay. (“Man Water” had supposedly been filtered through manly beef jerky and then “exposed to straight porn.”)
Another Florida gift to America.
Peri said at this week’s meeting that his comments had been misrepresented. “They actually said that I believed that if you drank tap water it would make you gay,” Peri said Monday. “I never said that. I don’t believe it, certainly.”
Peri didn’t directly address the audio CNN had shared. And CNN acknowledged that Peri also blamed homosexuality on other factors, including declining societal standards, saying: “Well, you remove the constraints, and then evil occurs.”
Peri said Monday he was trying to be the best public servant he could be. And DeSantis appointee Martin Garcia, the board chairman, stressed to audience members that he and his fellow appointees were simply trying to pursue an “eminently sensible” agenda.
Keep in mind: The last time the governor came to one of these board meetings, DeSantis floated the possibility of using state powers to set up competing theme parks or maybe a prison near Disney. So, eminently sensible indeed.
Anyway, that’s the long story of how we got a storyline that involves gay tap water, gay frogs, Black Lives Matter, general evil and theme-park prisons.
Maybe that all makes sense to you. If so, consider yourself an official Floridian. Because stories like these simply aren’t making the daily news roundups in Wisconsin.
smaxwell@orlandosentinel.com
